Hi Cortney,
Apparently YourCompany has really degraded – not just in the quality of their products, but to the point of being a spammer. I have, with EVERY EMAIL YOU SENT US, clicked your unsubscribe links. When we chose not to renew last year, we told your predecessor, your sales department, your support department, and your billing department that we were no longer using your patch management product.
Why? Well, for one thing, the damn thing just didn’t work. We were constantly fighting to keep it running, and having to patch this or update that. All in all, we never got it successfully patching anything – not even a pair of jeans, let alone a complex work of art like Windows Server 2012. We looked at a competing product and had it working within minutes. MINUTES, Cortney. Compare that to the MONTHS I had a seasoned engineer mucking about with YourCompany Software Product. My forehead gets a flat spot on it when I facepalm at the thought of how much time and money I wasted on that effort.
That remains true today. We switched to a competitor. We’re not coming back. Please stop asking. This is like a bad relationship with a crazy ex-girlfriend that I just can’t convince that it simply wasn’t meant to be. Only I’m past the point of saying “it’s not you, it’s me” and have graduated to “TAKE ME OFF YOUR DAMNED LIST BEFORE I GET A DAMNED RESTRAINING ORDER.”
For the love of Swiss cheese, please, remove any email address with “example.com” in it from your mailing list. If there was any hope of us buying your products before, it has now perished, being swept away like dreams of yesterday, or empty wine bottles from last night.
Sorry, we don’t want your product, and we don’t want any more email from YourCompany.com. If your mailing list administrators can’t see fit to remove us from your lists, as we’ve repeatedly requested, don’t worry! I’ll just blacklist you at our mail servers.
Kind regards,
Me