Month: October 2015

Stupid Relationship

Hi Me,

We value our relationship with you and we want you to be the first to know about a new product we be launching at Some Conference on November 11th.

I’d like you join me for an exclusive customer-only Sneak Preview on November 5th. At this live demo and Q& A, we’ll unveil the product and cover really important information to see if it’s the right fit for your organization.

Please take a moment to Register Now.

Best regards,

Dor

P.S. This is a pre-release event for our customers only. By
attending this event, you agree to keep the information
confidential until the release at Some Conference.

Dorknob M. Lastname
President

The problem? This company has no relationship with me, and we are not customers of theirs! But it’s good to know that we’re valued. So I follow the process to unsubscribe from their list, and then this happens:

Hi Me,
I got the notification below that you registered a spam complaint and removed yourself from all groups in our system. If you wish to not receive particular notifications you can remove yourself from a group by managing your profile settings.  If you unsubscribe from all we cannot send you any notifications from our system at all.  We take spam complaints very seriously as we do not ever want to spam our customers but we do want to keep them informed of important information. We apologize if this was sent in error.
Best Regards
Dor

The problem? We’re still not customers of theirs! But at least we got an apology about the error.

Stupid Mortgage Lender

I purchased a new condo. The city had not issued a divided tax bill. As a result, every owner in the new condominium received the same tax bill. One owner’s bank paid his portion – approximately 20% of the bill. My bank was second to pay… and they paid the balance due on the account – approximately 80% of the taxes due. (Basically, I paid 3 of my neighbors’ taxes for them.)

#TOP

Me: You need to get my tax escrow overpayment back.

Bank: But we paid the bill.

Me: Yes, but the bill was for ALL UNITS in the condo.

Bank: But we just paid what the city told us to.

Me: City, you need to refund my tax overpayment.

City: That’s a problem for your bank – we don’t issue refunds.

Me: Bank, the city says they don’t issue refunds.

Bank: We’ll talk to them.

#MIDDLE

Me: You need to get my tax escrow overpayment back.

Bank: But we paid the bill.

Me: Yes, but the bill was for ALL UNITS in the condo.

Bank: But we just paid what the city told us to.

Me: You told me that last time I called.

GOTO #MIDDLE 3 TIMES

Bank: Let me get a manager.

<TIME PASSES>

Bank: Okay, someone will be in touch!

Me: That’s what I was told last time.

Bank: Have you emailed us?

Me: Yes.

Bank: Email us again.

Me: Fine.

GOTO #TOP